The end of another year...

    While I didn't end 2023 in sickness (Thankfully), I still did end 2023 on quite the downer, for anything, 2023 was indeed, bloody uneventful.

    Having changed jobs in July was the only real event that gave any meaning to this year, and anything else seemed to just fly by the wayside like a blur. While I know that this is how adulting is, things somehow feels... empty.

    Maybe it's because I'm still alone in this world I'm stuck with, while seeing everyone move on with their lives. Maybe it's because 2023 has nothing worth me making any memories about. Even the event that I had waited with bated breath had left me even more unfulfilled, looking on as others were having a merry time on their hands while I contemplated with my decisions...

    Yet, if anything, a year of nothingness seems so relaxing to yesteryear's tumultuous losses, having not been able to keep friends around and getting irritated over them going away. While I do still lose people, I do realize that if anything. losing them makes my life so much more relaxed and easier to live around. Not having them poison the time and effort does make me a lot more calm and rational. 

    All that said, I don't intend going in to 2024 with any more bigger hopes and dreams, other than the ones I have been pining for all this time. And nor will I walk in with the "new year, new me" bullshit. If anything, the current me is someone I think, I am currently okay with. Though having found someone new in my life would be a great addition, seriously.

Ian