Normalities at last?

Well, it has been a while since I picked up the pen and penned my thoughts, and yeah, there's news: I'm finally working. (Yay...) And while everything is now slightly better, something's still feels wrong for me.

While I do like the working environment (albeit that I'm so socially awkward, I still feel out of place...) of my first official job, I cannot help but to feel lacking, that I'm still far away from my goal of being where I want to be. Yes, I am going to leave out a lot of details because for once, I simply cannot find a way to hide the names and the issues. Unlike the army days when I still had a flame to burn, my age and thoughts have caught up to me, cooling it out like a blanket of snow on spring. After all that has been said and done, I found myself on the starting line at something normal, but now unable to run because I have so much more to think, so much more to be concerned, and most importantly, lesser strength to keep the pace. But, I still wanna aim and achieve in a way. So in a sense, this post is more about just being a goddamn reminder to the future me, who will inevitably look at this post sometime in the future and be reminded that we have a goal to achieve, normality be damned. 

Again, I have to say that while I am giving all the seniors in my new workplace a lot of trouble, I can only say that I am in the process of catching up, and making mistakes is the only way I can learn in a world where learning by bashing your head against the wall is and should be the norm, despite there being people who would tell you otherwise. But all of this is to ensure that by the time I leave, I will be ready to walk the correct road and reach my goal. Knowing myself, 'tis might be the best way yet to reach the end goal in the race. 

Got to admit though, the pay is definitely a good reason I am still aiming up and out. But who doesn't want a decent pay when inflation is making it hard for me to have a good time in my late twenties?

Ian

P.S. Yes, there isn't anything to rant now, partly because I have a policy of not letting work into my personal life and also because shaming companies isn't going to do jack shit when companies are themselves inanimate and therefore possesses as much feelings as the brick and mortar that builds them. Aren't you glad this ain't no rant to spam?